I'm not scared, I'm outta here

REM broke up today. I read the news while sitting in a meeting this morning, and I had a bit of a "holy...." moment. This isn't surprising. And it's something that should've happened a long time ago. But I have to say, they did it their way and they did it with grace. Say what you will about REM, but they managed and handled their career their way. They split the money, they split the rights, they were in complete control of their artistic and financial lives. They wrote the book on how to manage a band. And now they realized it was time to stop. I'm cool with that.

But then I began to think about how much this one band has meant to me over the years. What I learned from them, what I was introduced to because of them.... the people I met because of them. Oh, man... the people. People in high school. People in college. People in my adulthood. I know many couples who are now married because of this band. I met one of my closest friends because of this band.

And then I got a little melancholy. This band wasn't just a part of my life--this band changed my life. I thought about writing the band eulogy or writing about how they changed my life, but I can't. Why? Because they have been part of my life for so long that I wouldn't know where to start.

I have been running through all kinds of REM songs in my head. Most of them were from the IRS catalog: We Walk. Radio Free Europe. Little America. Begin the Begin. Superman... So many songs with so many memories and stories attached. And then I began to listen to New Adventures in Hi-Fi.

Sigh

I love that album. So very much. I loved it the second I heard it. I stood in the middle of my living room and listened to it. I didn't move. I felt like I was listening to something very personal. I was listening to REM coming to terms with a fame that, looking back built over time, but at the time it seemed like it just exploded. Yet at the same time, this album spoke directly to me. This album came out at just the right time. The tone, the feel, and the sound expressed everything I felt at that moment in time. I listened to it non-stop. It was the only thing I played in my car. I loved every single thing about it. But I especially loved the song Leave.

I was about to lose my job, but I didn't know it. I hated where I lived, and I needed to get the hell out. And this album, especially the song Leave, expressed the desperation I felt. And when I left that crappy little town for good, I played Leave at top volume.

But tonight, the one song I couldn't get out of my head was Electrolite. New Adventures isn't the lightest or happiest album, but I love how it ends with this song. It's like the band--the listener--realized things weren't so bad. There was a realization that, you know, things will work out. In hindsight, this was REM's last album as a four-piece. Looking back, this should've been their last album. Even when I heard it, I felt it was the perfect combination of their back catalog all wrapped in one album. I once referred to it as their swan song. In hindsight.... it kind of was. And this song? Well, it just seems like a fitting ending to a great career.


You're eyes are burning holes through me
I'm not scared
I'm outta here
I'm not scared
I'm outta here