It's Just Marriage

I was standing in the SupPop store in SeaTac. It was about 7:15 or so. Maybe closer to 7:20. I was wasting some time before my flight to San Francisco for ALA Annual. I pulled out my phone to check messages and I saw a notification that the Supreme Court was about to make an announcement, followed by an announcement that the Supreme Court had approved same-sex marriage 5-4.

And I teared up. And I posted on Facebook. And I couldn't stop smiling. And I wanted to turn to the lady who had just wandered in who was looking at me weird because I kept sniffing and say, "Supreme Court approved same-sex marriage!!!!"

But I didn't.

I kept smiling. And I bought a Sleater-Kinney tshirt. And as the day went on and I saw all the exclamations of joy on social media and read all the articles, I got happier. And then I read the beautiful paragraph that ended Anthony Kennedy's summary:

then I read bits and pieces of what Scalia and Thomas said and all I could think was how they must be miserable little men with really sad lives. 

And then I got on my flight to San Francisco. 

Did I also mention that it was Pride Weekend. Because it was. 

While in San Francisco I met up with an old friend from high school. Deana and I were inseparable during my senior year. Deana has always been a performer and has had a big personality (and bigger hair). She used that all to her advantage and has been performing in drag for two decades and now makes wigs for drag queens. While we had initially planned on having dinner she asked if I'd want to go to the Pink Party in her neighborhood. Her neighborhood is the Castro District and her crew and social circle is the Imperial Council (for more info, see the trailer for the documentary, 50 Years of Fabulous: The Imperial Council Story). 

The Castro. This was towards the end of the night of the planned festival.
They swept the street a few minutes later. 

So the Saturday night, the day after same-sex marriage was legalized, I was sitting at the window of a second floor apartment across the street from the Castro Theatre, watching pure joy. I met two former Empresses and the current Ms Gay San Francisco. I was kissed by a former Empress* and the current Emperor kissed me multiple times when he found out I was a librarian. 

*Deana asked, "Did he kiss you on the mouth?" Yes, yes he did. And I said, "I came to the Castro on Pride weekend and was kissed on the mouth by a queen. Best Pride Ever!"

The emotion in the apartment was so..... real. It was so raw. Someone was talking about growing up in a small southern town and how he couldn't be who he was and now this. THIS was happening in his lifetime. That feeling, the realization of the magnitude of what happened was so overwhelming. It was overwhelming for me but I can't even imagine what it was like for someone who has been marginalized most of their life. 

In college I had many gay friends. I was pretty sure I had a sign on my head that said "Come Out Here," because two or three different guys came out to me when I was a freshman. I was honored, honestly. They usually barely knew me but trusted me enough to tell me. I had a couple of local and out gay friends. I'd often refer them to them for advice and help.

I saw my friends in college harassed and bullied. One friend's roommate put a picture of him up on the dorm bulletin board with a sign that said, "I like little boys." Cori and I ripped the paper of the bulletin board, marched into their dorm room, confronted the asshole roommate. He sat there with a smug smile on his face. And then Cori hit him across the face. He wasn't so smug then. Another was harassed so much by the guys on his floor that he dropped out after his first year. My friends and I were lucky. We found a space where we felt safe in Bruce's house. He made sure that all of us, regardless of who we were, what we looked like, or who we loved felt safe and loved.  

When I was in college I never thought I'd see something like this happen. And I'm not just talking about the SCOTUS decision, I'm talking about how gay relationships have become so much more accepted. It's something that seems to have happened so fast yet at the same time it feels like it has taken forever. But here we are. Don't get me wrong, the fight isn't over. LGBTQ individuals still don't have equal protection in job security and housing and there are still lots of individuals are still being harassed and bullied and shamed into thinking that who they are is wrong or immoral or evil. There is still a fight to fight. 

But to be in San Francisco on this Pride Weekend at this time in history was amazing. It was spectacular. It was just..... It just was.

The Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band. I may have cried a little.

Deana in the parade. She was with the Community Grand Marshall Brian Bassinger and the Aids Housing Alliance. She's Dolly Parton in the big blond wig.