At the DMV

What is it about the DMV? I mean, why do all the weird people come out at the DMV? Shortly before I left the south I had to renew my driver's license. The Licensing place in Mississippi was a hole in the wall where two women sat at a desk and chatted... while a crappy TV played in the background. And when I moved to Mississippi the woman working there laughed long and hard at how I said Wisconsin. And then told me I needed to smile more. Jesus.

Last time I was there the same woman was still there. And outside the office was a sign that said, in handwritten purple (or maybe red) ink, "Public profanity is a misdemeanor. Violators will be prosecuted." It was so awesome I almost made a special trip back out there to take a picture. But I never got around to it.

So, today I went to the DMV to get a Washington license. After getting stuck in two traffic circles and construction, I found the place. And then I waited for two hours. Two damn hours, standing in the back of the DMV wondering where all of these people came from.

There was the dude sitting on the floor with his girlfriend. I assume she was his girlfriend and not wife because she looked too young to have been his girlfriend, but it was obvious that she was. He was pissed at someone, because he had several conversations where he whispered/yelled into his phone about how someone was a "fucking liar." And then he must've spoken to the Fucking Liar because he told someone they were a fucking liar and that they did nothing but cause others problems. Good thing he hadn't been at the Mississippi licensing place since he would've been prosecuted.

And on the other side of the room was some dude who was talking on his phone to someone about, well, I don't know what they were talking about, but the conversation contained lots of those "I'm too old to be a frat boy but I can still talk like one" comments. Like "Sweet" and whatnot. And then he told the person on the other end of line that the woman he was dating was a "keeper." Later, after a bunch of us were lined up against a wall waiting to be called to have our pictures taken, I overheard (well, we all heard) him telling someone his 40th birthday party was this weekend.

During all of this a woman came in who had special needs. I don't know what her condition was, but she had someone there to help her. But, oh boy, this woman was upset. I don't know about what, but she was screaming at the top of her lungs about who knows what (she was in a separate room). I'm not sure what she was upset about, but she was upset.

And then there were all the sixteen year olds. I overheard someone say it was the only day of the week they did driver's tests or some other sort of test you need to get your first license. But you could pick them all out--when they got their license they were so excited--all smiles, showing it to everyone, and all those other things you do when you get your first license. The rest of us? We look at our licenses and go, "Ugh, that's terrible." Except for the almost 40-year-old dude. He said, "Sweet!"