Someone told me that at some point on the drive out here it would hit me that I was leaving. I figured it would be when I crossed the Mississippi into Arkansas. But it wasn't. I had a little bit of it when I crossed the Iowa-Missouri Border. A little more when I saw mountains in Wyoming. And a little more when I drove out of the Rockies into Idaho and eastern Washington. But I never had that, "Woo! I'm leaving feeling."
What's even more strange, for the first few weeks, Mississippi felt like it had barely happened. It was weird. It wasn't quite that it-felt-like-it-never-happened feeling, but it was similar. Sometimes I had to ask myself, "Did I really spend four-and-a-half years in the Deep South?" Then there was the feeling that my friends would eventually be joining me in Washington. The realization that they weren't, and that it could be a long time before I saw them again... that was hard. (But I am thinking about visiting sometime in the spring.)
But recently I've felt differently. I am beginning to realize that I live here now. Not just that I live here, but where I live. Mom hopes to come out here to go whale watching in the spring. Whale watching. Right here. I ran some errands today, and I could see mountains. Real mountains with snow and everything. Even more amazing, I am beginning to not even notice the mountains anymore. The woman with the kohlrabi at the farmer's market knows what I want when I walk up to her booth (kohlrabi). I'm beginning to figure out where the different neighborhoods are.
Maybe even more telling, I went out for Mexican food last night. I have a decent choice of ethnic food here--most of it Asian, and most of that is Thai. But last night I was craving Mexican food. If you knew where I used to live and how there are something like ten Mexican restaurants in a half-mile radius, you'd understand why I have avoided Mexican food since I left. The food I had last night was fine--nothing spectacular, but it was a combination of beans, cheese, and sauce. And habanero jelly. If you know me, you know I can't go into a Mexican restaurant without ordering a margarita. I ordered the one with Quervo Gold, but I think they may have forgotten to add the liquor. Or else I'm just used Southerners mixing my drinks.
Anyway, I guess all this means I am settling. My job is going okay. I've had my moments and at one point wondered if my old job was still available. But then I remembered how much I didn't like living there. And then I remembered how long it took me to not want to walk out of that library, screaming (about six months). So, I guess I'm on course. And I've found the cool people.
And I had an awesome tofu scramble for breakfast on Wednesday at this hippie restaurant downtown. And I saw a group of traveling acrobats doing a show on campus. One of them looked like something out of Star Wars. And I am watching the most amazing sunset right now. From my living room.
So, I think I'll stay.
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