Things said during Olympic Curling that could easily be misinterpreted

She will get her single.

If she squeezes it out she could get a deuce.

Trying to drag it by their own guard.

They drop one on ya and you're dead.

Leave her shooter covering the four.

They can't hold the shooter.

She planted her win, she wanted her win.




So... I watched my first curling match (or whatever) tonight. It's weird yet fascinating. What I find most interesting is the yelling back and forth between the teammates. The match I watched was between the Canadian and Danish women. The Canadians ended so many sentences with so many "ehs" it sounded like an episode of SCTV. The Danish women were incredibly animated when talking to each other, but it was all in Danish, of course.

And the crowd.... They were yelling, chanting, stomping. They were pretty rocous. According to one of the announcers, the crowd noise was not appropriate for curling, but that this crowd "didn't know any better."

The Olympics Are Here!

So the Olympics started yesterday. I'm sure you were all aware of that. Vancouver is a little over an hour's drive from me (not counting the time spent at the border). A few things I have observed lately:

On a clear day I can see the Canadian Coastal Range, but it's been pretty cloudy the last few days. I can't see Whistler, but I am pretty sure the lights I can see are from Cypress--one of the Olympic venues. Based on where I think Cypress is relation to Vancouver, it seems like the right location. But more than that, in the last couple of weeks the lights on the mountain have gotten brighter and brighter, so bright they cut through the clouds. **Edit: I think the lights I see are from Grouse, not Cypress. Sometimes, there are faint lights on the mountain to the west of the brightest lights [Grouse], and the last few nights there has been a glow surrounding the mountains to the west of Grouse. That glow is probably Cypress.

The Vancouver International Airport is about 45 miles from where I live, and there has been a very visible increase in air traffic. When I see a plane heading into Vancouver I can't help but think, "I wonder if someone famous is on that plane?"

American TV sucks ass. Living on the West coast we get everything tape delayed. Since this is all in my time zone, I had hoped I would see events live. Nope. The rest of the country gets to see events semi-live, but we get them three hours later. Luckily, I get Canadian TV and they shows the medal events live (many of the qualifying events are taped). And the announcers aren't as annoying as the Americans.

The one thing I learned today about Canadians: All other sports pale compared to hockey. I mean, I knew that to a certain extent. I remember hearing a program on Canadian radio where people were crying because they saw and/or touched the Stanley Cup. So, I shouldn't've been surprised when the Canadians showed women's hockey over everything else... yet I was.

I've been trying to decide if I wanted to brave the crowds and craziness in Vancouver to experience the whole thing. After watching bits and pieces of the opening ceremonies (I was at work when they started, and I went out with a friend for copious amounts of margaritas after work) I decided I need to experience this in person. From what I understand most of downtown Vancouver is blocked off for the Cultural Olympiad: Lots of free bands for people without tickets. I even checked the train to see if I could get a last minute ticket for tomorrow or Monday (three day weekend!) but they are sold out. Boo. But I still have two weeks to get up there.

Vancouver is one of the most international cities in the world, and it is so many kinds of awesome. I want to experience it when it is overflowing with "foreign people" (as Sweet Pickles would say).

My other motivator? I want to see famous people.

Pop Culture

I love pop culture. I love music, TV, films (even though I am extremely lazy about watching movies), and all around pop-culture trash.

I watch and follow pop culture because I like it and find it entertaining. But I also thinks it says a lot about us--some good and some bad.

Something I find fascinating is the difference between the US and Canadian versions of the same shows.

Take American Idol and Canadian Idol.

American Idol
Contestants are pigeonholed early on: the rocker, the diva, the R&Ber, the singer-songwriter, etc. The only contestant they weren't able to pigeonhole was Adam Lambert. But all the other ones? Done. This moves into their clothes, the style of the arrangements, what the judges expect form them, etc. Judges like Simon Cowell tell the contestants right out: You don't look like an American Idol. People criticize him or boo or whatever. But you know what? He's right. We are an image-conscious society. We need everything in a neat little box before we will accept it. I'd like to think that I am different than that, that I am not that shallow... But, well, I'm not. I don't think I am as spoon-fed as some... but I am. I watch a lot of TV, so I think it is kind of a given.

Anyway... then there is Canadian Idol.

Canadian Idol wasn't on this year, and I didn't watch all of the season in 2008, but it was so different. The contestants weren't as polished in look or sound. Several of them were indescribable. One guy was the big ballad crooner. He won. But the other final four? One guy had an odd little voice. If he were to be labeled something it would be the singer-songwriter. When he sang songs they were like stories. He and his odd little voice were often compared to Paul Simon. He didn't sound so much like Simon, but I could see the similarity in style. Another guy would be the Rocker. But he was different. I would label him as more of the garage rocker, like he should have been in The Strokes or one of those other garage-rock-revival bands. The other guy? He could barely sing, but you couldn't stop watching him. He stomped around the stage with what looked like no rhythm. If he tried out on American Idol he would have been on the gag reel. But he was fascinating. I couldn't figure out what people saw in him until one of the judges compared him to Tom Waits. And then it all made sense.

My point? (And I do have one.) The Canadian Idol guys were so very different than anything you'd see on American Idol. They weren't as polished in look or image. They were unique, where those on American Idol seemed to all merge together by the end of the show (except this last season and maybe the one before that). But, also, the more traditional contestants? They were voted off by the viewers. Now the guy who won was the traditional belter of ballads, but he was incredibly talented. But the others that went to the top with him were far from traditional.

Why do I care? Because I wonder how much this represents the difference between Canadians and Americans. Now, I'm not saying that the guys on Canadian Idol were perfect or totally genuine and not mainstream or whatever. But what I want to know is were they molded into specific "types," too? What are they? And how are the Canadian types different than the American types.

So, yes, I love pop culture because it's fun and dumb and it allows me to be catty and judgmental. But I am also interested in the difference between American pop culture and the pop culture of other countries and how it represents the difference in the societies.

What brought this all on? Some day, I want to go to the National Popular Culture & American Culture Conference. Seriously.

Partly because I am interested in the topic. But part of me wants to know if this is where all the academics who don't fit into the "I don't own a TV" academic mould go. Is this a conference of Gen Xers, moping around because the Boomers and their kids STILL get all the attention? And do they remedy this by standing around quoting John Hughes' movies complaining about how the other academics hate them? Will they then smoke some weed, go through each others purses and wallets, and dance in the library?

The Return of Canadian TV

I don't know why it took me so long to finally watch Canada's Next Top Model. It's hosted by Jay Manuel and isn't nearly wanna-save-the-worldy as Tyra's borefest has become. Or as comical or overblown or stupid--and I mean those things as bad, not good (there is a difference). Don't get me wrong, Canada's Next Top Model has its moments, but it isn't an ego fest where Tyra Banks refers to herself as "Mama" at least once an episode. Makes me wish I would've watched from the beginning.

And where the hell have I been when this show was on? I know Spectacle: Elvis Costello with... is a Sundance thing, but I didn't know it was on CTV, too.

I'd kind of forgotten about Canadian TV.... I need to start paying attention again.

Vancouver in a Day

So, I mentioned earlier how strange it felt to be able to be able to jump into my car and drive to Seattle? It's even stranger to be able to be in Vancouver, British Columbia in a little over an hour (thank you, five minute wait at the Peace Arch crossing).

We didn't do all of Vancouver in one day, but we did a whole hell of a lot of walking. It was a gorgeous day. We could see the Canadian Rockies as we were leaving (it was too cloudy in the morning) and got a good view of Mount Baker in the US Cascades, too.

I didn't take as many pictures as I planned. I kept forgetting my camera was in my purse. I also didn't want to look like a tourist, and then at a certain point I decided I didn't care. The one thing I didn't take a picture of was the sign we saw just after going across the Canadian border: A big sign that said, "Canada" with a arrow. It was there because the border crossing is under construction (being made bigger for the Winter Olympics in 2010, so it can be a bit confusing how to get to the highway. But still. It was funny.

It's easy to forget you were in Canada until you saw a speed limit sign that said "100" (km per hour) or gas at $1.39 (per litre). Or Canadian flags. Or have you have to ask, "Do you take American [dollars]?"

What did we do? Shopped. We hit a couple of areas and lots of shoe stores. And did I buy a pair of shoes..... They are heals and pointy and very awesome.


They aren't nearly as uncomfortable as the look. I couldn't do a whole lotta walking in them, but they aren't so bad. There were more shoes than I knew what to do with and at a certain point I stopped going in the stores--I kept seeing all the same shoes.

Lots of various ethnic food. We settled on Indian and it was all kinds of yummy. After we ate I saw a Baskin Robbins. We didn't stop, but I noticed Baskin Robbins has 32 flavo[u]rs in Canada.


After we walked down Robson (one of the main shopping areas), we made our way to Chinatown, and to get there we had to walk through some sketchy neighborhoods. They seemed to be areas that were pre-gentrification. The old buildings (things like empty drug rehab buildings) with shuttered windows on one side of the street while new condo developments were being built on the other.

And then we got to Chinatown. Like most, there was a gate thingee:

We walked by the various Chinese stores: clothes, videos, trinkets, etc. We went to the Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden. There was Dr. Sun Yat-Sen statue, the Chinese years, (I'm the year of the Dog), Coy fish, more Chinese trinkets, and more tourists (like us).

Dr Sun Yat-Sen statue

Year of the Dog

We wandered farther into Chinatown, hit a Chinese Flea Market where we were the only non-Asians in the building. From there we wandered through an area of food markets. I don't know what half of that stuff was, but there was some weird-ass stuff. I think these were the weirdest:

I have no clue what you would do with these

We wandered back to the car with a stop off in a market where I said things like, "Hey, I could buy Canada Dry Ginger Ale in Canada." (I didn't.)

We drove to Stanley Park, a big-ass park just off downtown, where we stopped to wander a bit. It felt like half of Vancouver was in Stanley Park, but considering that it would be one of the few nice clear days before fall kicks in, I can understand why.

I don't know if there is a rush hour for ships, but if there is, it was about the time we were there. We saw two gigantic cruise ships and one cargo ship leave the port.

A Princess Cruise Lines ship--you know, like the Love Boat. And the hills in the background are not mountains, they are foothills. I know because I asked.


Do any of those cargo thingees ever fall off?

Other things:

A replica of the figurehead from the S.S. Empress of Japan.


The Girl in Wetsuit sculpture.


Me: Are those Canadian Geese? SB: Yes. [pause pause ....] Me: Oh, right.

By this time it was almost 6:00 pm, I was exhausted and more than ready to head back. Oh, the other nifty thing in Stanley Park, there was a little play area where they had big water-guns hooked up to a water line. They didn't seem to be working, but they looked like fun. Right across from that was this thing called a "Kid Dryer." It was shaped like a little cottage, and it did just what it said: It dried off the kids with hot air blown of out big air vents. Brilliant!

After that it was the short ride back across the border. The people at the US Border were doofuses. I don't know why, but they just sounded like they didn't believe anything you told them.

I was going to write a semi-snarky entry about how Canadians have better style--the clothing and furniture stores were full of nifty stuff. And how I saw all kinds of signs for So You Think You Can Dance Canada and walked by the CTV store (one of the Canadian channels I get). And so on and so forth, but y'all, I am completely exhausted.

Oh, Canukistan

Y'all, I'm going to Canada this weekend. A day-trip is being planned.

I am seriously in love with Canada right now. All in all, they are smarter, funnier, and more sarcastic than we are. At least according to their TV shows and commercials they are.

Pictures will be taken. I'm having problems transferring pictured from my memory card to the computer right, though. If I ever figure out what the problem is, I will post them.

Everything I Do...

So this must be Bryan Adams' year. He was on both American Idol and Canadian Idol. On American Idol he was featured in the finale since "(Everything I Do) I Do for You" was sung by David Cook. But on Canadian Idol he has the whole hour to himself (final three) to be the mentor and shit.

Guess this makes the summer of '08 be even better than the summer of '69. You know, the best days of his life.

I'm still waiting...

For my screen. I don't think you understand how much I want this screen. It's 60-some odd degrees outside, and I am sitting in my apartment, sweating. Why? Because I can't enjoy the lovely marine breeze because I have pets and no window screen. Granted, my ginormouos window (that overlooks the bay) faces west so when the sun sets it gets warm, and I just finished cooking in a teeny apartment... so it's hot in here. But still, if I wanted to sit around and sweat I could've stayed in Mississippi.

I watched the results show for Canadian Idol last week. And you know what? No obnoxious product placement. No sob stories about each person. No Searcest dicking around and talking about fuck knows what. And the judges chose one (or two?) people from each night (I think there were twenty people left so they do ten a night for two nights) to sing their songs again. Then they call out the bottom two from each night and send two or three home. I think. As you can tell my memory is a bit fuzzy. But it was much less painful than the American version.

Oh, and speaking of Mississippi (kind of), I miss my friends. So, y'all, I do miss you. I don't miss the heat. Or the bigs. Or the politics. Or the small town. But I miss the people.

Oh, and I thought of Sweet Pickles and his bathroom Saturday. At the farmer's market I saw some older, tall skinny dude wearing a cowboy hat and a Texas state flag button-up shirt. And I though, "Ah, it's like the Texas bathroom."

My New Favorite Commercial: Enviro Visa

One more thing...

The stylists on Canadian Idol love the faux hawk. Let it go. Please.

Canadian Idol

I am watching Canadian Idol.

It has the same logo and same intro song. The host is smarmier than Seacrest. The judges? No clue. But there is a chick, a guy who appears to be very uptight, and, of course, a beefy black guy who wears crazy shirts. Oh, and there is some guy who seems to be the rocker judge--maybe he is supposed to be the Canadian Simon. He is the only one that has a something of a personality, even if it does appear manufactured. He was the guy who said the difference between Idol performances and bar performances are that bar performances had alcohol. I don't know if he is a permanent judge or guest judge. And they talk in backwards order: Canadian Uptight Judge, Canadian Paula without "drug," and Canadian Randy, and then the Canadian Rocker/Simon Judge. (update/edit: I was wrong, the talk in random order, but the sit in backward order.) They give comments and all, but even their worst comments aren't very bad--there is no cattiness. There is no "dawg" or "pitchy." The audience doesn't boo. (udpate/edit:yes, they do boo but the judges don't have much negative to say.) The judges have Subway (subs) cups in front of them on the table. And if you are a Tellus customer, you can text your votes in. And they're talking about it being Canada Day and what they would normally be doing to celebrate Canada Day.

Amazing how Idol isn't nearly as interesting without Drunk Paula. And A'ight Randy. And, well, Simon.

It's like Bizarro Idol. With Canadian commercials.

Canadian Idol is on CTV. And they show an odd array of American TV, including The Daily Show, the Colbert Report, The View, various US soaps, Mad Men, and The Hills.

Update/edit: I kept watching CTV after Idol. There was a show on after idol about an apartment house (and the people who live there) in some city in Canada. I assumed it was Vancouver, but since this was the first time I had watched it, I'm not sure. But I do know it was original programming. The best part? Dave Foley, who we all know and love from Kids in the Hall and NewsRadio, plays the part of the new landlord: an American from Texas. Or as Sweet Pickles would simply say, "A Texan, because no other explanation is necessary." So very awesome.