My Thoughts

Where do I begin? How do I describe how I felt yesterday? I think most people in my life understand how I felt because most of them feel the same.

I wasn't able to watch the swearing in and Obama's speech live. I tried to stream it at the reference desk, but since every other person in the country not in front of a TV was doing the same thing, it didn't work. So I heard a choppy nonsensical version online. It as probably a good thing because when I did watch the whole thing last night, I didn't just cry, I sobbed. And then I danced.

I knew I was in trouble before I even left for work. While listening to the pre-ceremony reports on NPR while getting ready for work (being in Pacific Time, the swearing in was at 9:00 am). They mentioned John Lewis took his seat and my eyes filled with tears. During my choppy attempt to watch the ceremonies at the desk, I caught a glimpse of John Lewis. And I teared up. So when did I break into big sobs last night? When I saw John Lewis.

John Lewis represents all those who fought, struggled, and died in the Civil Rights Movement. I had the pleasure of seeing him speak at Ye Olde University. I was blown away. Seeing him yesterday was when what was happening--that we hadn't just elected a man I personally believed in more than any politician before him, but that we had elected a Black man as president hit home. It's one of those things I have been very aware of, but until that moment, the enormity of it and what it meant to this country and to those who came before me hadn't completely sunk in.

But I also cried because Obama gets it. He gave a speech where he said what so many politicians are afraid to say: We're a mess right now, but those before us faced more adversity and they rose above it. They did it by working together for a common cause. And that is what we need to do now. We need to get over the petty bullshit that has divided this country and get to work. He knows this isn't all about him, this is about us.

I also keep going back to a conversation I had with Marvin a couple of years ago. We were drinking heavily in Sweet Pickles' kitchen where we were discussing our ideal candidates for president. I was already a fan of Obama but I never, ever thought he could get elected. He was too new--he had been in he senate for no more a year at this time--and not only didn't I think this country would elect someone who was a non-white ethnicity as president, I never thought they would elect a man with a funny, non-WASPy name. I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. I have never been so happy to have been so wrong.

But not to make you think I spent last night being all celebratory and high-minded about President Obama, I made sure I watched the inauguration in time to catch the American Idol try-outs in San Francisco.... I tell you this so you know I am still just as shallow and obsessed with crappy television shows as I have always been--although I did forgo the Real Housewives of Orange County to watch more news coverage. I have a few standards.