...Sitting next to me on the plane
Listen, it is not your god-given right to use the entire arm rest. Really. Despite what you think, it is not. There were two of us in that row--we needed to share. It is not cool to spread your two-day old Parade Magazine all over your tray table. Why? Because you were mere centimeters away from resting your hairy arm on my tray table. And why did I keep shifting around, trying to not touch your arm? Because it was hairy. Really hairy. And your arm hair kept brushing up against my arm. Ew.
...Standing on the left side of the moving walkway
MOVE. There is a written rule about moving walkways. Stand on the right, walk on the left. They post signs spelling out the rules. So, when everyone around you is standing to the right, but you are standing to the left (with your bags to the right) and a line of people (with me leading the charge) come up behind you, and you don't move, don't get all offended when the short person behind you says, "excuse me..." Why? Because there are effing rules. Maybe you hadn't noticed, but we were all in an airport and some of us had planes to catch--and pink grapefruit shower gel from the Body Shop in the center of the airport to buy. (Do you know how long it has been since the Body Shop made pink grapefruit shower gel? A long damn time. And it is awesome) And I only had forty minutes to do both of these things... and change terminals. So, move your business-suited ass to the right side of the moving walkway. It will make everyone behind you much happier.
Thank you.
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