Best Glee Quotes

This show is a goldmine of one-liners. I realize this could get old, but for now I am going to enjoy it.

• Now that we're dating I have to try harder to pretend that I'm listening.
• I'm going to donate this [hair] to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. They can use it to plug the holes in their trailers.
• Right now you have enough product in your hair to season a wok.
• No, she's dead. This is her son.
• I've got a full ride to a little school called University of California-Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles.
• I like to give impromptu concerts for the homeless. It's so important to give back.
• Did you see what she was wearing? She looked like Pip Longstocking but, like, Israeli.
• Those sweaters make her look homeschooled.
• Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?
• I wore a bra and told them to turn on the air conditioner.
• I am engorged with venom.
• Are you gay? Most of the show choir directors leaders I make out with are gay.
• ...They barely have time to apply Freeze-Off to the warts between their knuckles.

(My personal favorite is, "No, she's dead. This is her son.")