This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers*

So this weekend. This fucking weekend.

This was Bruce's memorial weekend. I feel odd saying I was looking forward to it, but I was. I wasn't able to go to his funeral and his memorial was my closure. Plus, this turned into a 20 year college reunion.

Much can be said about the weekend. And at some point I will. For now, I need to sort things out in my head--and that is going to take some time.

But before that, I want to talk about other, lighter things! Fun things!

Let's talk about Kevin Smith.

I adore Kevin Smith. I saw Clerks when I was about 25. I wasn't a clerk in a video store and I had a job I was eventually able to turn into a profession. But when I was 25, it was a deadend job working for a guy who was a giant ass. Clerks spoke to me for so many reasons.

I haven't seen all of Smith's movies, but I have seen many: Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I've even watched his reality show on AMC.

As I was waiting to board my flight in SeaTac, I walked out of the bathroom and saw a guy I could've sworn was Kevin Smith. I saw some guy say something to him and him replying, "Thanks." He was wearing long shorts and a long jacket, and a hockey jersey--you know, the Kevin Smith uniform. And he was pulling Louis Vitton luggage.

I walked up to him and said: "Can I ask you a question? Are you Kevin Smith?"

He was.

And we chatted for about ten minutes. And he held my hand. And I am pretty sure I turned five shades of red.

He asked me if I was arriving or departing. Departing to Kansas City. So was he. (Kevin Fucking Smith was on my Fucking Flight.) He had a show in KC that weekend.

He asked where I was going. I told him where and why. He gave me his sympathies. And I said, "If we don't break a few laws, we're doing something wrong."

I told him I loved Clerks, except in the moment I forgot the name and just said, "Your movie, the first one."

And based on my previous career, we know some of the same people (and I did drop the names). He asked me what and how they were doing.

And I asked if we could take a picture together--a picture I immediately uploaded to Facebook.

During my flight I was chatting with BFF (yes, I pay for the inflight wifi), and she was beyond jealous of my brush with greatness. And she told me that Kevin Smith was her man-crush (being that she's a lesbian and all).

So when I got to KCI, I saw Kevin Smith and his wife standing by baggage claim. I walked over to him, apologized for bothering him again, and said:

"A little back story. One of my best friends is a lesbian. I always call her Big Ol' Lesbian because she's 6'1" and we're both old. And she's a lesbian. She was very jealous that I had a chance to meet you because you are her man-crush. So I just thought I would let you know that you are a Big Ol' Lesbian's man-crush."

And he said, "Awesome. Tell her I'm hung like a horse."

I love him.

*Quote from Randall in Clerks.