Vanilla

My dad loved vanilla and lemon. Not together. But he always had those hard lemon drop candies in the house and he always burned vanilla candles at Christmas. When my brother and I were kids we'd all go to the local drug store to get fountain drinks from the local soda fountain. I'd get either a green river or a cherry Coke. My brother always got a chocolate Coke, and my dad got either a lemon Coke or a vanilla Coke.

(For the record, the local soda fountain still exists with the original bar, stool, and soda fountain. Last time I was there [five years ago], I got a cherry Coke with my food and ordered a chocolate Coke to go.)

Anyway... Vanilla and vanilla candles. Dad loved the smell. Vanilla-scented stuff takes me back to my dad's house when it was still a bachelor pad (i.e., still furnished with run-down furniture and card tables). My brother and I would put up the Christmas tree, Dad burned multiple vanilla candles in every room of the house. It was Christmas.

So, earlier this week I went to the dentist for a cleaning and check up. At the end, my hygienist (who is awesome) went through the drawer of stuff asking me what I wanted: Toothpaste? Floss? (Yes) Toothbrush? (No) And then she asked, "Do you want some chapstick?"

Yes!

I'm kind of addicted to any form of lip balm. I am constantly applying it, and I'm miserable when I run out, and I had just run out. So, my hygienist gave me some with my dentist's name, number, etc. on it.

I kept forgetting to pick up more at the store so, you know, awesome.

And then I put it on and all of a sudden I was ten years old, back in my dad's bachelor pad house, putting up Christmas decorations. My new dentist lip balm is vanilla flavored/scented.

I'm kind of loving it.

When are you going to pull my tooth?

About six years ago I had one of my wisdom teeth pulled. Yes, just one. And yes, I still had them. I had one pulled because it had a cavity in it and the tooth in front of it needed a crown. I couldn't afford to pull all my wisdom teeth and pay for a crown, so I just did what I needed to do. My dentist said he could pull the tooth, but, and I quote, I "wouldn't like that." No, I would not.

So a week or so later, I had the one tooth pulled. I had it pulled at the local oral surgeon, because there was no way anyone was pulling anything without knocking me out first. As I sat in the chair, the oral surgeon was talking, talking, and talking. Something about LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Next thing I know, someone was saying my name, and I woke up and asked, "When is he going to pull my tooth?" The assistant replied, "Oh, sweetie, he already did."

During my regular dental check-up, my dentist said I needed to have the rest of my wisdom teeth out sooner rather than later. I was hoping to avoid it for a little while longer, but I knew I had to face it. I also knew I had one that was impacted--something else I didn't want to deal with. But after a consult with the oral surgeon, I was told they would leave the impacted one since it isn't causing any problems and it's in an awkward position. Given my age, he told me, there was a good chance I would keep it the rest of my life. And the other two? Those are simple, he said. They could be pulled just using a local anesthetic. Uh, no, no they couldn't.

Appointments were made, and Thursday, I had two wisdom teeth pulled. Like my other experience, I remember the IV (with the anesthesia) going in. I remember the doctor saying that would be the worst part. I remember the nurse giving me the oxygen mask. And then I remember thinking, "What if this doesn't work and I don't go to sleep?"

Next thing I know the nurse talking to me, and I'm responding. I am pretty sure I was talking to her without realizing it. I don't remember what we were talking about but I kept wondering when this was all going to go down. And then I realized I had a mouth full of gauze. And then I asked, "Wait, did he already pull my teeth?"

Deja vu. Yes, he had.

Part of me wishes I could give you a day by day blow of what happened later, but, well, I can't. It isn't too exciting. I considered asking someone to take my phone away from me so I wouldn't send any vicodin-influenced text messages. I don't think I did. A few hours after I got home, someone from the oral surgeon called to see how I was doing. She seemed surprised that I answered the phone. I had some questions for her, and she commented how together I seemed. What she didn't know was that while I was talking to her I kept poking myself in the face, thinking, "I can't feel my face..." And then the Novocaine (yes, I know they don't use that anymore, but whatever) wore off and holy mother of god, it hurt. One vicodin seemed to last about three hours. I slept like shit that night because I'd wake up when the pain pills wore off. At one point I checked my phone, read an email I didn't understand, and tried to forward it to someone who might be interested... and then I woke up with my phone still in my hand with several email addresses in the "to" field that shouldn't be there. I closed my email, put the phone down, and went back to sleep. It was for the best.

I tried to watch TV, but I kept falling asleep. I turned on a marathon of America's Next Top Model: the comfort food of reality TV (It was the season of the "petite" model). There always seems to be a marathon on when I am stuck home and on pain killers of some sort. I tried to listen to my friend JC on the radio Friday night, but I kept falling asleep. At the end of the shift he texted to see what I thought of his set, and, well, I had no clue since I kept fading in and out the whole time. I tried to read, but I kept falling asleep. You get the picture.

I tried to go pain-pill free on Saturday. I took a handful of Tylenol. It worked for a little while until I gave in to the pain pills when I tried to eat. I felt the need to at least attempt to be productive, so I did laundry. And while trying to be productive, I locked myself out of my place--just as the Tylenol began to wear off.

Awesome.

But, really, the only thing that was terrible was only being able to eat soft food and being stuck inside for three days. I have gone pain-pill free all day today and survived. I got out and went to one of our newest grocery stores with a fairly large vegan section where I spent too much money--then came home and fell asleep. It was a little more than I could handle.

At one point I started a blog post in my head. It was drenched in vicodin, so I am sure it was much more entertaining than this one. But because it was thought up during a vicodin haze, I have no clue what it was about.

Three Shots

I spent the afternoon at the dentist. I have gone to the dentist so often since I moved here the receptionist calls out, "Hi, Yankee Librarian!" when I walk in the door.

This, like the other work I have had done this year, was nothing major. A lot of the most recent dental work has been replacing old fillings I had done ten-plus years ago. I had a lot of work done in the late-90s and now all of the old composite fillings are crapping out. And it was all done at the same time so it is all crapping out at the same time. So, this was one of those. There's a chance it may need a crown, but we're going to stick with this for now and see how it goes. If it needs to be crown, a new filling puts that off for quite some time.

I had two fillings replaced over the summer. One shot of Novocaine (my sister-in-law tell me they don't use Novocaine anymore, but whatever. Y'all know what I mean) and I was so very numb. This time, on the other side of my mouth? It took three. THREE.

I got freaked out, though, when they were getting me all set up to start, I could feel a lot of what they were doing. Not just pressure or whatever, but I could feel it. I wouldn't say I completely freaked out, but I got a little nervous. And freaked. After the dentist poked and tapped various spots in my mouth ("Can you feel this?"), we both decided to go ahead and see what happens. My dentist told me there is one nerve on the lower right side of your mouth that can cause issues when trying to numb a person. In the end, it was all fine, but I have to say, I really wanted it to be over.

One big difference between my dentist here and my dentist in Mississippi? When I left the Mississippi dentist, I looked like a stroke victim. Droopy face, slurred speech, etc. My Washington dentist? Even after three shots of Novocaine I barely look like I'd had anything done.

Anyway, the numbness is finally wearing off. My mouth hurts like a mother and I can barely open my mouth. So, to make myself feel better I am going to pick up some tofu teriyaki and maybe some soy ice "cream."

Novocaine

So, have you ever wondered what happens when the Novocaine begins to wear off three-quarters of the way through a crown? General crappiness, throbbing, and pain.

How do I know? Because it happened to me this afternoon.

I fought the Insurance Company...

And I won. I got the letter today that said my trip to the ER was medically necessary and would be covered. Woo! Makes me want to send the review guy a thank you card. So, my bill will go from almost $3000 to a few hundred. That is a lot easier to handle.

But let me tell you, the people who answer phones at my insurance company? I swear they hire idiots just so you won't call back. There were a couple of people who were very helpful and if they didn't know what the answer was, they would ask. But the others? To use a bad cliche, they didn't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

My Dentist, My Therapist

I went to the dentist today to start the beginning of the crown for the tooth with the root canal. I had some other questions about teeth that are already slated for work or have been giving me problems. When she told me I might need yet another crown, I almost burst into tears. She numbed me up and asked me what was wrong--I seemed "off." I am in insurance hell right now. As I mentined earlier, my insurance company is refusing to pay for the trip to the ER because the diagnosis was dental, and they don't cover dental. I have the right to appeal. To make the whole situation worse, while I was talking to the hospital to get the paperwork lined up for the appeal, the hospital people noticed something was off. After some investigation, it turns out I owe even more than I originally thought. I am taking tomorrow off, and I will spend most of the day rounding up paperwork from two different places that show I had no clue the reason my face swelled up was dental. And I didn't. One person at the insurance company told me none of this matters--the only thing that matters is that final diagnosis and that was dental. They will not cover anything that begins with a tooth, therefore I am SOL. (Honestly, this was the short version.)

Anyway, I spilled all of this to my dentist without crying. While I was getting all numb, she talked to their insurance person. Obviously, they can't file anything (although my dentist began to wonder if there was something she could do or write that would help, but she didn't think so), but they all had suggestions. Basically, they said, insurance companies want you to give up and that is what they count on. So, according to my dentist, the key is to never give up. The HR guy where I work told me to talk to the highest level person possible. If one person doesn't seem to know what they are talking about, ask for their manager and then their manager, etc. Of course, when I called the insurance company today and asked for the manager I found out the nastiest person I had talked towas the manager. I stood my ground, refused to talk to her again and asked for her manager. The next step may be the state insurance commissioner. Again, short version.

I did the crown without Nitrous. And a cavity. I needed a filling in the tooth next to it so they went ahead and did it too since I was there. And unlike the endodontist who did the root canal they told me if I wanted Nitrous, I could have it, nooooo problem. I was proud of myself for not using it, but I think I was tense ans shaking the whole three hours. (Yes, three goddamn hours.) And it was uncomfortable. And I needed extra Novocaine. And you know what I was thinking the entire time? The new season of The Real Housewives of Orange County starts on tonight. Hey, if that is what gets me through someone drilling my tooth to a nub only to build the damn thing back up, I make no apologies. Next crown? Nitrous.

I had other questions about other teeth. I had some serious concerns, but after more checking and poking and biting down on things, everything looks like it was when I was there last month (one more crown and one more filling).

I can't tell you how happy I am to have a five day weekend. I need it.

Old People Are Funny

Scene: Dentist's office.
Me: On my back, upside down in dental chair, with my iPod, large needle stuck in my gums
Dentist: hovering over me, holding large needle in my gums
Dental Hygienist: on other side, shoving some other dental thing in my mouth

Dental Hygienist: Look, she has a video iPod
Dentist: A what?
DH: A video iPod. We just bought one for my daughter
D: It plays videos? Like movies? How do you get movies on that thing?
DH: You buy them. On little disks. Then you put the disks in there and watch it on that little screen.
D: So if you're on a flight you can watch a movie?
DH: Exactly!
D: That's amazing.
Me: .... [I can't talk with a large needle stuck in my mouth.]
[dentist leaves]
Me: [to hygienist] You download movies from iTunes, you don't buy disks. [But I think it came out more like, "thou buy mothies fwom ithunes, thou donth buy diths" since half my face was frozen.]

I Hate the Dentist

So, I had to have a partial crown put in today. They have some fancy name for it, but it is a partial crown. I can't feel the left side of my face. I look like a cross between a stroke patient and Elvis. My entire head hurts, but particularly the left side. I'm hungry but can't eat since I can't feel half my face. And I feel woozy. No nitrous this time, which is pretty good for me. I usually have to have nitrous just to get my butt in the chair. But I didn't think I would fee this light headed. But I do.

As he was finishing he told me he thought I needed to have the filling in the tooth in front of the one he just fixed replaced with a partial crown, too. What? When I was in a month ago he said it would have to be fixed eventually, not in two weeks like he told me today. I was pretty much all, "Uh-huh. I can't afford another one of these things right now." He then went on to tell me he could replace it with another filling. after he left the dental hygienist said, "If it isn't bothering you, don't worry about it."

It isn't bothering me.